Thanksgiving break my senior year of college was interesting to say the least. There were dress fittings and other preparations for my brother's upcoming wedding. Oh and my mom told me that she had breast cancer. My whole world was shaken. How could this be? What does this mean? Of course she followed this announcement with "Don't tell your brothers until after the wedding." That was my mom always worrying about others before herself. I contemplated taking a semester off or transferring to a school closer to home so I could be around during the chemo. Mom wouldn't have it. I was going to go back to school and graduate in May. She would be fine. Mom started her first round of chemo the Monday following Mat's wedding. I came home as often as I could and learned how not fun chemo is. Every treatment made her very sick. But in the end, we got the happy news that she was cancer free.
Unfortunately, that is not how the story ends. Three years later she started experiencing chronic bronchitis. After several unsuccessful rounds of antibiotics, they discovered that the breast cancer had metastasized in her lungs. And so started Chemotherapy Part II. This round didn't go as well. This cancer was much more aggressive. It moved quickly from her lungs to her abdominal cavity. I moved back home to help out and take Mom to appointments and such. I was fortunate enough to find a job with an amazing company. As the cancer progressed, I was taking off more and more time to take her to doctor appointments. I was consistently late because I had to help her get up and ready in the morning. My boss never cared and was always supportive.
The summer of 2006 I started noticing, my mom acting strangely. She would forget words, laugh at odd times, and lose her balance easily. I expressed my concern to one of the incredible nurses at one of her chemo appointments. She added a brain scan to her upcoming MRI. About a week later, I got a very frustrated call from my mom. She needed me to come get her at the doctor's office and take her to another clinic because they wouldn't let her drive. This was the appointment that they told us that the cancer had moved to her brain. The doctors seemed very positive so I thought this was just another stumbling block. She started radiation that day. I was going to see my brothers that weekend at a friend's wedding. Mom asked me to give them the news, but not until after the wedding. She didn't want the weekend to be ruined.
I talked to my sister-in-law prior to leaving for the wedding. I showed her the brain scans and told her about the treatment that she was starting. I was blessed that she made the most devastating, but needed comments. "Do you think your mom is going to get better?" I responded, "Of course, she is." As hard as it was for her to tell me, she said, "Honey, she is not." Without that slap of reality, I am not sure how I would have gotten through the coming weeks.
Mom was living for her Godson's upcoming wedding. She was able to attend the wedding, but left the reception early. That was the last time she spoke to anyone. We got home on Sunday. Mom remained in a semi-conscious state until Thursday when she gave up the fight. I still cannot believe how quickly she slipped away from us.
So why am I sharing this sad story with you? It is in hopes that I can prevent others from going through the pain of losing a mother, sister, wife or friend. In honor of this wonderful woman I am participating in the Susan G Komen 3-Day for the Cure. Please click on the link below if you would like to support my fight for a cure.
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